(large text version)

Waiting For D5

The taxi that Viv and Laine ride in crests an awkward hill that pulls into view the expanse of a parking lot - then just beyond the rows of shiny car roofs, the front-facing facade of the airport. It's about two in the morning and the world is lit up by artificial lights.Viv nudges Laine and says, "It looks smaller than it is."Laine replies with a delayed and slightly bewildered, "Huh?" She had only caught the last part of what Viv had said because for the last hour she'd been unfocused and dozing, her head against the window to be fried by the buzz of the engine through the glass."The airport," Viv clarifies, "Like I know it's actually huge, but from here with just the lights and the dark it looks like a little thing. It looks small.""Mm," Laine replies. She sits herself upright as the taxi comes to a stop, pulled into the drop-off lane by the side of the carpark."Here we are then, girls," The driver announces. It's not an entirely useless announcement because he's politely letting them know not to linger in the backseat too long.Laine and Viv share a look. One of them - Laine - is nervous, the other - Viv - is grinning."Good luck to the two of you," The driver says, nodding them along.Viv and Laine step out into the early morning - Laine's side a dull grey, and Viv's a sickly spotlight-yellow. The word DEPARTURES looms over them, a sign situated above the quintuple row of revolving doors."I'll grab our bags," Viv offers.


At the check-in line Viv sits on her suitcase and Laine stands opposite her, leaning against the handle of hers. Viv's is a bulky, plastic-y thing that is stuffed full enough to easily take her weight. Laine's is smaller and the handle is so tall and spindly that she doesn't actually trust it to take her weight, so the way she leans is more of a gesture rather than actual rest."How long until they call us, you think?" Viv asks, "They're gonna call us.""Mm, I left my room a mess," Laine replies. Her voice is a little absent from the conversation and her gaze is focused not on Viv, but the empty desk at the end of the line. There are two groups, also waiting, ahead of them."They'll probably tidy it for you," Viv suggests."Hah," Laine's laugh is entirely faked. She's now tracking a woman in airport uniform make her way to the check-in desk. Nothing happens right away, there's apparently things behind the counter to organize that Laine is not privy to."I'm excited," Viv decides, "We're free!" She wiggles her shoulders and flashes jazz-hands for emphasis, "Free!""Not yet," Laine counters, trying to temper that excitement and finally paying Viv proper attention, "We're not even in the air.""Air-shmair," Viv retorts, perfectly confident in her own wit, "We're-- Oh." Behind her the line starts to move forward.


The line for the security checkpoint is a constant stop-and-start. Viv and Laine only have their backpacks now, which is just as well for all the crowding around them, caught also in the zig-zag partitioned line that everyone is funnelled along. The hall, Laine realizes, is a sort-of interior, suspended bridge. To the left and right she can see long windows to the outside. One side the sea of cars and the other an expanse of airport-industria. Men in orange coats, odd-looking trucks with singular purposes and flourescent strips, the reflective glass walls of the main building, then the dull see-me-not grey of the hangars.Some of this is only seen at certain points in the queue at certain angles - so Laine leans from one foot to the other while Viv leans against her."How about now?" Viv asks, looking up from Laine's shoulder."Still not in the air," Laine replies. Her face scrunches up a bit, tickled by the frizz of Viv's hair so close. When the line moves forward Laine nudges Viv along."Okay, okay..." Viv says. When they stop shuffling she glances around at the people crowded in the queue ahead and behind and around them, "How many people do you think are in this building right now?" Viv asks, looking up again to make very serious eye-contact with Laine."Too many," Laine answers. She nudges Viv along again."Yeah," Viv says, heels scuffing the tiles as she walks backwards, "But how many?""I don't know," Laine says - she whines this time, at first truly a sound of complaint about the interrogation, but then her frown contorts a bit, turns into a grimace, and turns into a grin, "Just a lot.""Got you," Viv grins back, she feels like a winner here.


Security had spilled everyone into the departure lounge's largest duty-free. There was a winding path marked on the tile-floor that Viv had immediately abandoned to explore - much to Laine's discomfort. Still, Laine follows."God," Viv sounds exasperated, "Place is a maze.""Yeah," Laine replies, her tone is irritated because she saw the marked out path and would really like to get back to it. She's craning her neck to look around for an exit, but Viv has found something to point and laugh at."Okay, but who buys this much booze before a flight?" The something Viv is drawing Laine's attention to is a display stand of gold vodka. Huge bottles stacked up high.Laine momentarily looks pained, but an answer comes to her quick enough to indulge Viv, "Really nervous pilots."Viv cackles, her head thrown back. Satisfied with that, Viv starts to walk on ahead, overtaking Laine who quickly catches up, "Let's find our gate for you. Get you relaxed.""Thanks."


Viv and Laine find their desiganted gate two hours before their flight is meant to take off. Viv looks around at the waiting area - a barren corner of the wing with silver benches and grey-tiled-flooring - with her hands in her pockets and an appreciative frown on her face."Gate D5," Viv clicks her tongue, "She's a beaut, to be sure. Lotta space. Quiet area.""Easy to find, too," Laine says, joining in with the act and echoing Viv's stance, "Good walking distance from the lounge. Got a view of the airstrip." She's not fidgeting so much with the passport in her hoodie pocket, relaxed now that she has a route in her head from the lounge to the gate."Mmhm, mmhm..." Viv nods at Laine, looking at her partner expectantly."Okay," Laine gets the hint, "We can explore now.""Yes!" Viv immediately starts to pull Laine back towards the arrivals lounge, "I saw a florist. I didn't know airports had florists. Have you ever seen flowers on a plane?""Probably in movies," Laine suggests, "Like romcoms, maybe."Viv finds the answer acceptable enough, "Are you hungry? I could eat."


The departure lounge is a thick L-shape with a crowd of chairs filling most of the middle and over-priced stores surrounding all sides. The corner of the L is where the food court could be found, which is either fast food joints or those restaurants that only seem to exist in airports and train stations. Restaurants that simply couldn't survive without blue cushioned chairs with metal frames and shiny tile flooring.Laine isn't sure when the last time she saw a Zazzo's in the wild was, but she appreciates being able to see one up close in its enclosure apparently advertising some kind of fusion of Italian and hamburgers.Neither Viv or Laine would actually know what they serve, as they are sat in the neighbouring location eating fast food. There's a small bouquet of blue and white flowers between them."It just hits different," Viv is saying, speaking with her mouth full and pausing only to swallow, "Crap food at three AM, I mean. Burgers just hit different.""Yeah," Laine replies. She's smirking at Viv, but only for moments at a time because her attention keeps shifting back to the screen mounted on a column just a few feet away from their table. It's a display listing all the outgoing flights and every twenty seconds Viv and Laine's flight appears.GATE D5 - INFO PENDING. They'd arrived too early to get a live estimation of what time the gate would open, but their boarding passes claimed they'd only be waiting another half hour.Viv pulls a face suddenly and starts to dismantle her burger. "Hey, do you want my gherkin?"Laine also pulls a face, seeing what is happening, but she answers, "Obviously."


Some time later Viv and Laine are leaning against each other, back-to-back in the romantic fiction corner of the airport book store. Their bags are at their feet and the bouquet is balanced between them, its petals in full bloom. Viv and Laine have a book each that they are flicking through, concentration on both of their faces.Laine speaks first, "Page 36, Madame Loretta with the groundskeeper," She announces."Ugh, hang on, hang on..." Viv murmurs. Her look of concentration grows increasingly severe until, "Damnit. I've only got hand-stuff until like page 50."Laine turns so she can waggle her book in Viv's face, "I told you. Gold glossy title text, they give it up easy."Viv pouts, "Nah, I reckon you already know them all. You're cheating."Laine scoffs, "What?""You've got a secret collection left at home. All the airport romances. Just so you can win."Laine rolls her eyes and taps the cover of her book against Viv's forehead, "Sore loser.""Am not!" Viv counters, hand over her chest."Whiny baby. Sore loser."Viv gasps, "This? After I got you flowers?"


"Surprised it's so busy," Laine says, glancing out at the middling crowd of the departure lounge. She's standing next to Viv inside an accessories store.Viv looks at Laine over the shades she's trying on (and around the price-tag stuck to the bridge), "It's not that busy.""It's busy for four AM," Laine says.Viv glances to all the other waiters sitting on their chairs. Men in cargo shorts and women in cardigans and kids who hang onto the arms or chairs or cardigans like they're life-preservers in a sea of travel-boredom, "Yeah, busy for four AM," Viv eventually agrees, "But do you think I'm rocking these?""Hard to tell," Laine replies, looking at Viv, "You've got 12.99 in impact font on your forehead.""Hmm. Gimme the flowers," Viv takes the bouquet from Laine and poses with it in the crook of her elbow, like she's holding a precious little baby with blooming pink and white and blue petals, "How about now?""What?" Laine scoffs, half-laughing and half incredulous."You know, first-time traveller chic? Bitch who has no idea what to do at an airport styling?""Okay," Laine chuckles, "Well for that you'll need a smaller bag and a screaming child."


Laine is staring at the ceiling - it's way up high above her and the lights hang on unmoving wires. About her is the murmur of airport noises (families, PSAs, rolling suitcases) and on her lap is Viv's head.Viv is lay across two seats, her legs dangling over the arm of one chair and her hands idly thumbing the bouquet on her belly.Laine is a bit self conscious of this because she's always worried that unsubtle public expressions of affection are going to garner looks, but that worried feeling always goes away just as soon as Viv opens her mouth.In this case it is Viv saying, "I like your chin.""What?" Laine frowns. She looks down at Viv."Your chin. It's nice. I don't look at it that much, but it's nice from down here.""You're weird.""Yeah and you're pretty," Viv sticks her tongue out.Laine tries to shrug it off, her smile all pushed up to one side - but she lets out a bashful giggle eventually. She can't help it. She always giggles when someone she admires compliments her. It's a knee-jerk reaction that always comes before trying to accept the compliment to practice self-worth, "Thanks."The departure lounge feels less busy from the middle of it. From the outside it's hard to see through the crowd, everyone moving in idle ways - from one place to the next, or one seated position to the other - but from the inside it all thins out. Just a handful of tired people who feel awake too early. Metal frames and blue cushions and columns with terminals stretch on forever, and for that they appear sparse.Laine is acutely aware that the current time has just ticked beyond the time on her boarding pass, but repeated checks of the airport displays tell her the same thing. The flight is delayed. Gate opening to be determined.


It's about forty-five minutes after the time on the boarding passes. Viv and Laine are back in the fastfood kiosk, the bouquet of flowers looking tired between them in a disposable cup.Viv is examining a fry like it's suspicious and Laine is looking left and right at the neighbouring restaurants. She's trying to figure out if there is a functional difference between the Zazzo's on the left and the Zazzo's on the right. Maybe it's the kerning on their signs. Or something else. The foodcourt row of establishments goes on and on as far as Laine can see."I'm bored," Viv announces."You were hungry," Laine points out, her attention drawn back to their table."Yeah and I'm realizing now that's because I'm bored," Viv admits."Mm," Laine smiles and shakes her head. She looks left and right again and she wonders if the restaurants on either side had identical floor plans, or maybe they were mirrored."Laine?" Viv asks."Yeah?""Let's explore some more."


Between the departure lounge and Gate D5 is a junction. If Viv and Laine were to take that turn they'd end up in a part of the airport that looks abandoned. Wide hallways and empty storefronts and interlocking metal grating and signs without signposting and benches without passengers. Columns holds up the ceiling for miles and around the corners natural light floods in without a window in sight."Always find this stuff weird," Viv says, "Like, why have this here?""Everywhere has something like this," Laine points out, "Everything is closing down or being built.""Yeah. They should put a GAP in there or something," Viv says.Laine pulls an amused expression. She shifts the bouquet from one arm to the other and asks, "And that's because..?""Well if you see your plane and it's not matching your look, like the colour is off or something. Some planes have out-there paintjobs these days.""Okay, but I don't think people should look like their planes.""Uh yeah, and I'm not saying we put in a costume store," Viv sticks out her tongue at Laine.Laine rolls her eyes, but she had been smirking through the whole exchange, "Let's check the board again."


Viv and Laine stand before a screen mounted to a column, necks craned, holding hands. Viv has both backpacks on one arm, Laine has the flowers. They wait for their flight to appear, they see that it is still delayed."Sorry, Laine," Viv says."It's alright," Laine replies.One hundred identical columns display the same information to the left and one hundred more are to the right. It's quiet enough here that Laine hears the squeak of her shoe when she shifts her weight from one foot to the other. Between each column is a bench. Metal frame, blue cushions."Always wonder how a plane gets delayed," Viv muses, still craning her neck to look up."Probably took a wrong turn," Laine replies, not missing a beat, "Clouds move a lot. Don't really get landmarks."Viv nods like it all makes sense, "Or cold feet. Nervous pilot.""No, that's why they have the drinks back there.""Right, yeah, yeah, yeah."


Airport toilets feel bigger than they need to be when they aren't busy. Two rows of sinks, a hallway of stalls, but always only 2 hand-dryers. Viv is leaning with her back against the wall by one of those dryers and Laine is drying her hands. For the moment the women's toilets are blasted with the sound of hot air.Viv waits until there's silence, then asks "Okay, but it's gone really quiet."Laine looks around. It's all empty stalls and unoccupied sinks and mirrors placed at such an angle that you could stare into forever."Everyone's got on their planes," Laine suggests."Soon," Viv says, waggling her eyebrows."Yeah, soon," The idea excites Laine. She and Viv will be in the air, they will be going somewhere. Soon, they will be going somewhere.Just outside the toilets and down the next hall is a moving walkway, both Viv and Laine step onto it. Viv drops both bags and Laine balances the bouquet on the rolling handrail."These have a name, don't they?" Viv asks, "Like, this human conveyor thing. Flat escalators. Something like travelator? Is that it?"Laine doesn't answer. Instead she turns to stand right in front of Viv - Viv's back to the handrail - and she kisses her.With the moving walkway sliding them along, Viv and Laine kiss while passing a mile-wide poster of an orange sunset. As close as they are it loses all definition - just a blur of brilliant oranges and yellows and peach-rays.


The flowers are wilting. The largest and tallest of them droops low with its petals sagging down towards the ground, yellowing at the edges. They get their own chair next to Viv and Laine in the sea of empty chairs and columns and boards with only one flight, delayed.Viv straddles Laine's lap, her face buried in the crook of Laine's neck, "Mm... Could explore more. Could eat something."Laine doesn't answer right away, but she does acknowledge the question with a hum that Viv feels. Eventually she says, "I don't mind this. I like this.""Yeah?" Viv asks, fishing for exactly what 'this' is."Just this," Laine goes on, "With you, this moment. I think we could be here for hours more, or days, or weeks, and if I feel like this then it's fine."Viv doesn't interrupt, she doesn't even lift her head. She just listens, Laine's voice close in her ear, and Gate D5 down a dozen halls."Was scared when we got here. Waiting to check in. Not knowing if we'd get a call to tell us to go back. Or not knowing if we were going to go forever. If you'll want to go back home--""-- I don't, but we can if you want--" Viv mutters, quietly."-- I don't. I want to go, always wanted to go," Laine says. She's smiling a fluttering, uncertain smile, worried that she's talking nonsense, but talking anyway, "We're finally going and I don't mind where we end up because right now that could be anywhere and it'd always be with you."Viv is quiet for a bit. She kisses Laine's neck once and twice and then carefully asks, "So I was right?""What?""I was right," Viv says, sitting up to look at Laine, "We're free."Laine's expression twists incredulous, then annoyed, then smiling openly and carefree, "Yeah. Yeah."


Thanks for reading! - bb

volume one: we feel at nightvolume two: particular moments in vague places

(regular text version)

Waiting For D5

The taxi that Viv and Laine ride in crests an awkward hill that pulls into view the expanse of a parking lot - then just beyond the rows of shiny car roofs, the front-facing facade of the airport. It's about two in the morning and the world is lit up by artificial lights.Viv nudges Laine and says, "It looks smaller than it is."Laine replies with a delayed and slightly bewildered, "Huh?" She had only caught the last part of what Viv had said because for the last hour she'd been unfocused and dozing, her head against the window to be fried by the buzz of the engine through the glass."The airport," Viv clarifies, "Like I know it's actually huge, but from here with just the lights and the dark it looks like a little thing. It looks small.""Mm," Laine replies. She sits herself upright as the taxi comes to a stop, pulled into the drop-off lane by the side of the carpark."Here we are then, girls," The driver announces. It's not an entirely useless announcement because he's politely letting them know not to linger in the backseat too long.Laine and Viv share a look. One of them - Laine - is nervous, the other - Viv - is grinning."Good luck to the two of you," The driver says, nodding them along.Viv and Laine step out into the early morning - Laine's side a dull grey, and Viv's a sickly spotlight-yellow. The word DEPARTURES looms over them, a sign situated above the quintuple row of revolving doors."I'll grab our bags," Viv offers.


At the check-in line Viv sits on her suitcase and Laine stands opposite her, leaning against the handle of hers. Viv's is a bulky, plastic-y thing that is stuffed full enough to easily take her weight. Laine's is smaller and the handle is so tall and spindly that she doesn't actually trust it to take her weight, so the way she leans is more of a gesture rather than actual rest."How long until they call us, you think?" Viv asks, "They're gonna call us.""Mm, I left my room a mess," Laine replies. Her voice is a little absent from the conversation and her gaze is focused not on Viv, but the empty desk at the end of the line. There are two groups, also waiting, ahead of them."They'll probably tidy it for you," Viv suggests."Hah," Laine's laugh is entirely faked. She's now tracking a woman in airport uniform make her way to the check-in desk. Nothing happens right away, there's apparently things behind the counter to organize that Laine is not privy to."I'm excited," Viv decides, "We're free!" She wiggles her shoulders and flashes jazz-hands for emphasis, "Free!""Not yet," Laine counters, trying to temper that excitement and finally paying Viv proper attention, "We're not even in the air.""Air-shmair," Viv retorts, perfectly confident in her own wit, "We're-- Oh." Behind her the line starts to move forward.


The line for the security checkpoint is a constant stop-and-start. Viv and Laine only have their backpacks now, which is just as well for all the crowding around them, caught also in the zig-zag partitioned line that everyone is funnelled along. The hall, Laine realizes, is a sort-of interior, suspended bridge. To the left and right she can see long windows to the outside. One side the sea of cars and the other an expanse of airport-industria. Men in orange coats, odd-looking trucks with singular purposes and flourescent strips, the reflective glass walls of the main building, then the dull see-me-not grey of the hangars.Some of this is only seen at certain points in the queue at certain angles - so Laine leans from one foot to the other while Viv leans against her."How about now?" Viv asks, looking up from Laine's shoulder."Still not in the air," Laine replies. Her face scrunches up a bit, tickled by the frizz of Viv's hair so close. When the line moves forward Laine nudges Viv along."Okay, okay..." Viv says. When they stop shuffling she glances around at the people crowded in the queue ahead and behind and around them, "How many people do you think are in this building right now?" Viv asks, looking up again to make very serious eye-contact with Laine."Too many," Laine answers. She nudges Viv along again."Yeah," Viv says, heels scuffing the tiles as she walks backwards, "But how many?""I don't know," Laine says - she whines this time, at first truly a sound of complaint about the interrogation, but then her frown contorts a bit, turns into a grimace, and turns into a grin, "Just a lot.""Got you," Viv grins back, she feels like a winner here.


Security had spilled everyone into the departure lounge's largest duty-free. There was a winding path marked on the tile-floor that Viv had immediately abandoned to explore - much to Laine's discomfort. Still, Laine follows."God," Viv sounds exasperated, "Place is a maze.""Yeah," Laine replies, her tone is irritated because she saw the marked out path and would really like to get back to it. She's craning her neck to look around for an exit, but Viv has found something to point and laugh at."Okay, but who buys this much booze before a flight?" The something Viv is drawing Laine's attention to is a display stand of gold vodka. Huge bottles stacked up high.Laine momentarily looks pained, but an answer comes to her quick enough to indulge Viv, "Really nervous pilots."Viv cackles, her head thrown back. Satisfied with that, Viv starts to walk on ahead, overtaking Laine who quickly catches up, "Let's find our gate for you. Get you relaxed.""Thanks."


Viv and Laine find their desiganted gate two hours before their flight is meant to take off. Viv looks around at the waiting area - a barren corner of the wing with silver benches and grey-tiled-flooring - with her hands in her pockets and an appreciative frown on her face."Gate D5," Viv clicks her tongue, "She's a beaut, to be sure. Lotta space. Quiet area.""Easy to find, too," Laine says, joining in with the act and echoing Viv's stance, "Good walking distance from the lounge. Got a view of the airstrip." She's not fidgeting so much with the passport in her hoodie pocket, relaxed now that she has a route in her head from the lounge to the gate."Mmhm, mmhm..." Viv nods at Laine, looking at her partner expectantly."Okay," Laine gets the hint, "We can explore now.""Yes!" Viv immediately starts to pull Laine back towards the arrivals lounge, "I saw a florist. I didn't know airports had florists. Have you ever seen flowers on a plane?""Probably in movies," Laine suggests, "Like romcoms, maybe."Viv finds the answer acceptable enough, "Are you hungry? I could eat."


The departure lounge is a thick L-shape with a crowd of chairs filling most of the middle and over-priced stores surrounding all sides. The corner of the L is where the food court could be found, which is either fast food joints or those restaurants that only seem to exist in airports and train stations. Restaurants that simply couldn't survive without blue cushioned chairs with metal frames and shiny tile flooring.Laine isn't sure when the last time she saw a Zazzo's in the wild was, but she appreciates being able to see one up close in its enclosure apparently advertising some kind of fusion of Italian and hamburgers.Neither Viv or Laine would actually know what they serve, as they are sat in the neighbouring location eating fast food. There's a small bouquet of blue and white flowers between them."It just hits different," Viv is saying, speaking with her mouth full and pausing only to swallow, "Crap food at three AM, I mean. Burgers just hit different.""Yeah," Laine replies. She's smirking at Viv, but only for moments at a time because her attention keeps shifting back to the screen mounted on a column just a few feet away from their table. It's a display listing all the outgoing flights and every twenty seconds Viv and Laine's flight appears.GATE D5 - INFO PENDING. They'd arrived too early to get a live estimation of what time the gate would open, but their boarding passes claimed they'd only be waiting another half hour.Viv pulls a face suddenly and starts to dismantle her burger. "Hey, do you want my gherkin?"Laine also pulls a face, seeing what is happening, but she answers, "Obviously."


Some time later Viv and Laine are leaning against each other, back-to-back in the romantic fiction corner of the airport book store. Their bags are at their feet and the bouquet is balanced between them, its petals in full bloom. Viv and Laine have a book each that they are flicking through, concentration on both of their faces.Laine speaks first, "Page 36, Madame Loretta with the groundskeeper," She announces."Ugh, hang on, hang on..." Viv murmurs. Her look of concentration grows increasingly severe until, "Damnit. I've only got hand-stuff until like page 50."Laine turns so she can waggle her book in Viv's face, "I told you. Gold glossy title text, they give it up easy."Viv pouts, "Nah, I reckon you already know them all. You're cheating."Laine scoffs, "What?""You've got a secret collection left at home. All the airport romances. Just so you can win."Laine rolls her eyes and taps the cover of her book against Viv's forehead, "Sore loser.""Am not!" Viv counters, hand over her chest."Whiny baby. Sore loser."Viv gasps, "This? After I got you flowers?"